90 Secrets to an
Amazing Wedding

Be sure to book services far in advance

DISCLAIMER: By reading this, you accept all responsibilities and liability for your choices. These are not to be taken as suggestions or recommendations but rather a historical perspective of personal experiences. I have tried to provide accurate information, though not guaranteed, and the author assumes no liability.

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When to Book

Music determines the success of your Wedding because it sets the mood for your reception: creating a romantic atmosphere, entertaining your guests and creating excitement, with style. When guests and Brides and Grooms are asked what made their wedding memorable, music is consistently mentioned as the most important decision for creating a unforgettable wedding memory. You definitely want first class music, not a friends garage band or hobbyist DJ (P.S. A scene that I have seen all too often, making this a prudent rule: If you don't pay them, don't expect them to show up. They may get another paying job or they may back out at the last minute leaving you stranded). Also, if you book the hotel first, you may discover that you can not use your favorite music since the hotel may have rules that don't allow amplified music or other limitations.

PPS. Be sure to book your music, photo and video, the hotel and other important services far in advance (a minimum of 6 to 12 months in advance) before someone else books them. Keep in mind that a musician, DJ or photographer can only do one evening Wedding on a Saturday. Don't be one of the desperate Brides that call too late only to be told "your date was booked months ago!" It is standard to require a 50% non-refundable retainer to hold your date for you, since your vendor must turn away all the other clients that want to book that date. The reason for this is that if someone cancels out at the last minute, it is too late for the vendor to get another job, since people book very far in advance in order to get their favorite music, etc. Consider a Friday evening or Sunday Wedding, its easier to get your date, your hotel and it's less expensive.

SIZE

1. Weddings don't have to be super large to be great. Some of the best Weddings were only 50 people. Close relatives and friends make the wedding great. Don't expect business contacts, unless they are also your close friends, to be that involved and may leave directly after the lunch or dinner. At two of the larger weddings (350-500) that I was the entertainer, the majority of the guests left directly after the dinner, leaving just the relatives and close friends of the Bride and Groom. My guess is that they were just acquaintances, not truly close to the Bride and Groom. I have found, the closer the friends and relatives are to the Bride and Groom, the more fun and intimate the Wedding is regardless of the size. At my own wedding, we allowed space limitations to determine how many guests we invited to our reception, and did not invite all of our relatives. Later, we found out that they were very hurt that they were not able to attend our wedding. So, if you want a great wedding, invite all your close friends and relatives, (even if you have to find a cheaper hotel), and spend on the best bouquet, entertainment and photography.

2. Food doesn't have to be fancy but make sure it is quality. After all, an expensive meal will not make your wedding a success. No one is going to remember the food a month after the wedding. However, bad food, might create a negative impression. Simple but good is sufficient if you are on a limited budget. ie. mixed salad, jello salad, potato salad or potatoes, chicken, fish, mixed vegetables (green beans, carrots, yellow squash, red pepper), sour dough bread or rolls, cheese, and desert (and that could be your Wedding cake) or make as fancy as you like and can afford.

3. Alcoholic beverages. Alcoholic beverages can easily run $3,000 for an open bar and could easily run $9,000 for fancy drinks for 300 guests. $3,000 is only $10 per person at a 300 guest reception. It's not alcohol that makes a great party, it's the people attending, the entertainment, the DJ, and the bride and groom. Are they having fun at their own wedding? My vote would be for sodas, ice tea, coffee if you are on a limited budget. Punch can also be fairly expensive since you are also paying for the service and cups. You can have an open bar, or you can set a time limit which would help prevent guests from getting drunk, or you could serve a beer, or give a coupon to each person good for one drink, which could be limited to 3 choices, determined by your budget - least expensive, medium priced drinks, or the sky's the limit. P.S. You, the host, can be held responsible if someone gets drunk and has a car accident. And seeing one or more of their friends in the hospital or the cemetery would seriously spoil the good memory of your wedding.

4. Cake, Did you know that if you provide you own cake, many of the hotels will charge a service fee of $2.00 or more to serve and cut the cake?

3. Through polls, it has become an accepted fact that even though the music is the least expensive part of a Wedding, it is music that is considered by Brides, Grooms and their guests to have played the biggest part in making theirs a great Wedding and a success.

THE PROPOSAL

4. If you haven't proposed yet... Women love Romance, and Men love to be Adored. Let Your Bride know how Special She is to You! Start out your life by Proposing to Your Bride, as Randy Serenades her with your favorite songs, creating the most Magical of all Romantic Proposals, sure to be one of the highlights Your Bride will remember for the rest of her life. A Unique way to be Outstanding, her Romeo! SERENADE YOUR BRIDE! Randy uses a superior portable sound system perfect for proposals outside her window Romeo and Juliet style, outdoor gardens, the beach, picnic lunches, under the stars, overlooking the city at night, and parks. You may sing a song. You imagine it, I can do it... Lets make her dreams come true. Hold hands, kiss, talk about your future as Randy serenades you. Randy plays the soprano saxophone like Kenny G. Randy has Performed for over 400,000 guests with outstanding success! You and your Bride are sure to love it. Create an experience that will be talked about for a lifetime. Or buy 20 CD’s of his Romantic Music and give as gifts to your bridal party and parents, and get the live performance free!

CEREMONY

5. If you haven't planned a Church Ceremony, it is easier to have the Wedding Ceremony directly before the Reception at a Hotel Garden. Many Brides and Grooms are planning their Ceremony directly before the Reception. The Bride may be up until 2 am in the morning, but it’s better to plan ahead so that you can get your sleep. That way, you don't have to get up at 4:30 am, rush or get dressed twice. You can use the morning for make up and hair, dressing, perhaps a family breakfast, do a location photo shoot, rest, then entourage to the Hotel where both the Ceremony and the Reception will be held. A great place to have a Ceremony is in an outdoor garden. I always love these Ceremonies. The air is fresh, the sky is blue, and there is no other place like Hawaii for beautiful days! However, you must have a backup in case of rain.

WHO WALKS YOU DOWN THE AISLE, IF YOU HAVE MORE THAN ONE FATHER?

Who should walk you down the aisle? You could ask both to walk you down the aisle, one on each side of you. This is a very independent society these days, following tradition where it fits their style. You could ask one to walk you down the aisle, the other during the Father and Daughter dance.

What if your Father has passed away. You can have whatever man that is closest to you, your Uncle, Your Brother, Step Father, your closest relative, grand father, grandmother, your son, or even your Mother walk you down the aisle. After all, this is just a way of showing respect to those you love.

Some brides choose to walk with both their Mother and Father down the aisle. After all, we are living in the age of equality.

HOTELS WITH GARDENS

6. There are many hotels that have gardens perfect for Ceremonies, and conveniently close to the ballrooms. Hotels (Sheraton Waikiki 922-4422, Hawaiian Regent 922-6611, Hale Koa 955-0555 , Royal Hawaiian 923-7311, Ihilani 679-0079, Sheraton Moana 922-3111, Hilton Hawaiian Village 949-4321, Turtle Bay Hilton ocean side Wedding Pavilion 293-8811, Kahala Mandarin George Moniz 739-8735/739-8888, are perfect because the Ballrooms are close.

HEAT & SHADE TREES

7. You may wish to suggest sunscreen lotion and hats to your guests. For less heat from the sun and some shade, start your evening Ceremony at 6:00 PM. If you can find a shade tree that guests can stand under during the Ceremony, that will make it a more pleasant experience for your guests. Ask the hotel to provide ice cold water and cups for your guests. I have recently learned that the Halekoa has two gardens, one which is completely shaded by a huge tree. It is located close to the smaller swimming pool. It is much nicer than the open larger enclosed garden, which can be very hot during the hours 10 am to an hour before sunset. Be sure to ask where the rest rooms are located.

OCCASIONAL RAIN AND HIGH HUMIDITY

8. In the last couple of years, it has been my experience that about 20% of the Ceremonies have experienced rain, and in most of those, it was heavy. So, if it is an outdoors Ceremony, be sure to have a backup plan, if it looks like it’s about to rain. Make your decision at least an hour before the Ceremony begins so that the musicians, the photographers, the florists, etc. will still have time to get set up before the Ceremony begins. Ask the Hotel to post a sign alerting your guests where to go for the Ceremony. You may wish to let your guests know what will happen in case of rain. Some days rain is a light pineapple shower and with a short wait, the rain will stop, and you can continue your Ceremony, however, you must consider what the musicians will do with their equipment, if it rains. Harpists, string quartets will not play in the rain. Photographers and Videographers with $10,000 plus cameras may not go out into the rain at all. Mobile PA's can be covered with plastic bags during very light pineapple mist and cannot be used at all during heavy rainfall due to the possibility of electric shock and shorted amplifiers and mixers.

CUT GRASS

9. Sometimes the hotel needs to cut the grass. Sometimes they cut it just prior to the wedding and leaves a strong smell of cut grass. Some of the guests may be allergic to the smell. If they cut the grass two days in advance, most of the smell will be gone.

10. Other Romantic Outdoor Sites, Parks and Gardens: Don't forget to ask if electricity is available, especially where the Ceremony may be in a garden away from facilities. They may need to plan ahead for a very long extension chord or portable generator. Kualoa Ranch (not a hotel but can handle receptions in an outdoor Pavilion) Abby or Mike 237-8515), Honolulu Academy of the Arts, Honolulu Aquarium, Bishop Museum, Dillingham Ranch, Honolulu Zoo... Parks: Waimea Falls Park 638-8511 Cost: Ceremony: $150 +$4 per person entrance fee, Pavilion for Reception $15-20 per meal; Haiku Gardens 247-6671, Magic Island permits 523-4525, Ala Moana 523-4525; State parks: Debbie 587-0300 Diamond Head Park no charge, Kuala Basin Park 587-2870, Pu'u Ualakaa Park 587-0300, I'ilani Gardens on the mountain side of highway 78 just off Nu'uanu street.

Be sure that you have electricity if you expect music or the Minister to use a microphone. A battery operated PA and music system is available and is a free service when you book their music (951-0448). There are also companies that will provide the flowers, Arbor/Archway/Gazebo/trellis with flowers on it, chairs, etc.. especially for outdoor weddings (Ben Franklin Crafts-395-9424, A-A Party Supplies 677-1964).

11. Plan your Morning Ceremony to start at 9:30 or your evening Ceremony to start around 5:00, about 1.5 hours before the lunch or Dinner begins. You should give your photographer at least one hour to do the family formals, and another hour for the bridge and groom and bridal party. Consult with your photographer and show him a list of people in groups you would like to have photos of. Morning Ceremony and Receptions normally last till 2:30 or 3:00 and it will take a couple of hours for your MC's, photographers, videographers and musicians to pack and travel from their morning Wedding to the evening Wedding. So, I suggest not to plan any Ceremonies between the hours of 12:00 and 4:30 or it will cause conflicts with Morning Weddings. A typical Ceremony normally lasts about 30 minutes however a full mass will take about one hour. Then directly after the Ceremony is a perfect time to take the formal photos of the Bride and Groom. For photos, after the ceremony, you need from 30 minutes to an hour, depending on the number of people that you wish to have your photo taken with.

The time of day, is important for photos. From 10:30 til 5:00 the sun is very very bright. This creates poorer photos with harsh highlights and dark shadows on the face of the Bride and Groom. Skys are washed out white, oceans if looking towards the sun have glare. The not so bright light 2 hours after dawn and 2 hours before sunset create the best photos. If your Ceremony lasts 30 minutes, and photos last 1 hour, then start your Ceremony 1.5 hours before sunset. The best sky is 50% clouds, 50% blue sky for lighting.

The blue ocean and sky, is a beautiful background for wedding photos. However, during the day, it is very bright and in order to take photos that show the deep blue of the ocean, and the blue of the sky, the camera must be adjusted for a darker photo. (otherwise, the sky is white) However, without a very powerful professional flash, that leaves the faces of the Bride and Groom with deep shadows under their eyes. Without flash, you must sacrifice the background colors, in order to get proper exposure of the Bride and Groom's faces. There are special ways to do this, otherwise the camera will adjust to the bright background, and the faces will be very dark in your photos.

Chapels are often much darker inside than the outside. So, it is best to us a professional high powered flash. However, some churches do not allow flash photography during the ceremony. It is usually ok after the ceremony to use a flash for the formals. If you are looking for great photos, you may wish to find another church or chapel that will allow flash photography. There are definite limits to the quality of the photography in a dark church without flash.

There are over 300 shots of a wedding that could be taken. It is not possible, for a friend or neighbor, who does not photograph weddings to even begin to know what photos to take in order to create a wedding album, your romantic wedding story, the keeper of your treasured memories. You may be able to get a list to help you plan your wedding from your photographer.

12. Having Romantic music (Romantic Sax Music for Weddings 951-0448) start about one half hour before the Ceremony begins, sets a Romantic mood as well as entertains the guests as they arrive creates a romantic mood for the Ceremony. This is the time that they have absolutely nothing to do but wait for the Ceremony to begin. I find that guests really enjoy the music during this time and there is nothing else going on.

13. These days about 50% of the Brides are opting for an Alternative to the traditional Wedding Processional and Recessional. I have had a number of Brides request Contemporary songs like Kenny G's Wedding Song for their Processional and Recessional, or your special romantic slow ballad will work for the Processional. The Recessional is usually a more brisk tempo. Brides and Grooms just seem to zoom down the aisle after a ceremony. Ask your musician if you can select your favorite songs from their repertoire and how many songs they can play. Some musicians repertoires are limited to a few classical pieces, while others play every style with as many as 700 songs to choose from. The Processional and Recessional should be long enough for the walk, which can be very short or very long, depending on the size of the garden and the point that the Bride and Bridesmaids will be starting from. With a long walk, you will want two songs, one for the Bridesmaids, and one for the Bride with her Father (which was traditionally the Wedding March "Here Comes the Bride"). If you have a very short walk you may choose to use just one song rather than 10 seconds of one and 10 seconds of another. Be sure that everyone knows what the cue will be to start the music for the Bridesmaids, or even easier, have the Bridesmaids start walking down the aisle to the Romantic music being played, then the Processional will start directly after they take their places. This way, no cue is needed.

14. Directly after the Ceremony, while all of your close family and relatives are here, is the best time to take portraits of the Bride and Groom and Formal Photos with parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters, relatives, sponsors, out of town guests, bridesmaids, groomsmen, ushers, flower girl and ring bearer. Plan something for your guests. Here are two possibilities: The guests could go directly to the ballroom where they would be entertained by a musician or band. Or, you could provide pupus and drinks (don't forget non alcoholic drinks) on the outdoors lanai, where they can stand and talk, or sit at table, and listen to happy upbeat music until the dinner is about to be served. Also, an outdoors lanai is great for bringing in local ethnic dancing troops to perform for the guests such as Hula, Filipino, Western line dance, belly dance Glo, etc... Call.

Bouquet: One of the primary purposes of a bouquet is to make a more appealing picture by adding color to your probably white wedding gown. Many brides choose a white bouquet, but that does not enhance you, your pictures, your wedding album, and basically, it is invisible against a white wedding dress. Choose colors that you would enjoy looking at for years to come. Keep in mind that the size of a photo is a 20th of the size of the real thing (you are 80" tall, the picture is 4" tall) photo a twentieth the size of the real thing, so you wouldn't want to choose only really small flowers whose color will show up as dots on a photo. Some color combinations that I have seen are: red and yellow, pink and light blue, rainbow...ie each bridesmaid wore a different pastel color in a satin dress...red, light blue, pink, orange, yellow, etc. Be sure to tell your photographer your color combinations, so that he can pose Bridesmaids, etc. for the most artistic effect.

Engagement Photos: Be sure to take a folding chair for sit down poses. Take a hat, leis, sun glasses, Hawaiian dress, and other props to look cool, traditional, ethnic, fun, casual, etc.

15. Most Brides want to Mic the Minister, and for the Bride (Groom will be close enough) with a lavaliere mic. Otherwise, the guests probably won't be able to hear what is going on. Ask your musician if they use a sound system and whether or not they can provide you with a wireless lavaliere mic. Make sure that it is a good quality and does not pick up interference from the local radio and TV stations which can prevent them from working at all. Ask if they have had any experiences where the wireless mic did not work as expected. Be sure to ask how much that this service costs since these mics are very expensive and not normally part of a musicians equipment. Hotels typically charge $100 plus for the use of a wireless mic. The small PA system are usually included in the price. Gazebo, or Archway with trellis, chairs and walkway are usually included with the rental of the lawn or garden area for $600 (Sheraton Waikiki 922-4422)

THE ROMANTIC TOUCH

16. It seems to be in style, Brides and Grooms are going for the unique touch. Each Bride and Groom wants their wedding to be special, portraying their own unique personal tastes, rather than following a strictly traditional wedding. I have noticed that guests, relatives and friends always enjoy those unique touches whether it be music, the attire, the flowers, or the entertainment. These days less than 50% of the Brides choose the traditional music for the processional and recessional.

17. A very nice effect is to pass out small 2 oz. bottles of Bubble Liquid which has a blower loop inside (especially made for Weddings, which you can purchase from Party Land Aiea 487-2789, or Party Pizzazz 735-1510 Waialae / Kailua-262-5552, or the party supply downstairs at Sears Ala Moana) to all of the guests at the Ceremony. Then as the Bride and Groom complete their Wedding Vows, and rings, and kiss, the guests begin blowing bubbles in the wind as the Bride and Groom walk down the aisle. Add additional bubbles with 2 powered bubble blowers (ask your musician or DJ)

Another option, is to pass out paper rolled like cotton candy tubes filled with rose petals to throw at the Bride and Groom as they leave the alter/garden during the Processional.

18. I once saw Monarch Butterflies released, Prices start at $124 for the Luau package of 14 Butterflies, to $299 for the Royal package of 42 Butterflies. Ask if they have a 2 for 1 special. There is a legend that when you whisper a wish (while releasing a Butterfly), your wish will be carried on the wings of the Butterfly to the heavens and will be heard by God. Be sure that the Butterflies are kept in a cool shaded area until they are released. When they are released they wake up from sleeping and fly...

19. Rainbow Colored Homing Pigeons were released directly after the Ceremony. ($100 for 25 birds-$350 for 150 birds)

20. A couple of Brides have asked me to play part of a beautiful song while they were signing the license, or during the candle lighting ceremony. This is effective for any non verbal activity. As soon as you finish that activity, the musician can fade out the music.

21. Presentation of Leis: A nice touch that I saw recently, the Bride and Groom presented leis to their parents and grandparents. Additionally, you could present your all of the out of town guests, sponsors, special friends or relatives. Again, select leis according to the color you wish your photos to be highlighted by.

If your Ceremony has more than a Processional and Recessional, in order that there are no mistakes, write out the ceremony program to give a copy to your performer/singer. Don't rely verbal alone. They might mishear you. Write it like this: 1. The bride and groom will begin lighting the candles. 2. The bride and groom will move back to the previous spot. 3. The Minister will say a few words. 4. The bride and groom will then begin placing leis on parents, and relatives. During the lei presentation, sing (song name) until the presentation is complete and the bride and groom return to the area just in front of the minister. Then fade it out.

22. The Bride could wear a haiku lei. What could be more beautiful on a woman, especially here in Hawaii, the land of flowers and romance.

23. Various beautiful Hawaiian Lithograph Marriage Certificates, (in Hawaiian and English) are available at Hopaco (Pearl Ridge). Suitable for framing.

24. Floral decorations: A nice selection of Hawaiian flowers can be viewed at www.photo.net/photo/collections/flowers-hawaii.html

THE RECEPTION:

25. Greeting your guests at the reception. Most Brides and Grooms and their parents and possibly their grandparents, greet their guests at the door of the Ballroom. This may take as long as an hour with a few hundred guests, but it's very personal. It's nice to have the musician(s) playing music to entertain the guests as they sit down, while they have nothing to do until all of the guests have entered the room. Sometimes the Bride and Groom will have their guests come directly from the Ceremony to the ballroom and sit down. Then after the formal pictures are completed the Bride and Groom make their grand entrance into the ballroom.

26. Grand Entrance: The MC will introduce the wedding party as they enter. Usually, a bridesmaid will walk with a groomsman. Then the Bride and Groom are introduced, and then the Bride and Groom enter, usually to a special song. Use live music if you wish. However, the musician must be accustomed to fading in and out coordinated with the MC as they speak, so that your guests can always hear the Bridal party's names. As the Bride and the Groom are announced, the music will be louder until you are seated at the head table.

27. One Bride asked me to play a trumpet fanfare as they entered (951-0448) . One Bride asked for a fast 50's Elvis Rock'n'Roll song as they entered. Another couple requested me to play "Get Ready to Rumble" a hot dance number and danced their way to the head table. Everybody clapped! A number of Brides have requested Kenny G's Wedding Song, which I fade in and out as the MC announces the Parents, Bridesmaids, Grooms men, and Sponsors. One Bride and Groom wore red clown noses and entered the ballroom to "In the Mood". Another Bride and Groom had a Rock n Roll wedding, and greeted their guests while Rock n Roll music was being played.

28. There are a number of options for music. Option 1. A DJ/Mobile Disco playing background music (A+ DJ 941-0448). No specific entertainment benefit, just background music during the dinner. It is a step better than piped music through the house PA system.

29. Option 2. A Local Band. Lesser known bands usually provide background music during the dinner. Top name bands may provide a stage show, in which the house lights are off, spot lights are on the stage and all attention is directed toward the stage show. The show is usually 1 hour long and can cost a few thousand dollars for a top name group and you really can't talk during the performance.

30. Option 3. A single Traditional Musician like a Harp; a Duo such as harp and flute or guitar and flute; or stringed instruments like violins performing classical, traditional or ethnic music. These all provide background music for your event. The emphasis is on the conversation between the guests. The costs are a few hundred dollars or more per hour.

Plight of the Musician: This does not apply to musicians who only play as a hobby. Often, Brides and Grooms, or the family of the Bride and Groom, will ask professional musicians, DJ’s, and photographers because they are a friend to play for their wedding for free. Yes, they want to play, but they need to be paid. This is their job. The musician, photographer or DJ needs to make their living. He thinks to himself, you like my music enough to ask me to play at your wedding, but not enough to pay me??? Maybe you don’t know that musicians are the lowest paid profession. Its a daily struggle for him to survive. People never ask a doctor to perform an operation for free, or a carpenter to build a house for free, but this is exactly what people do and expect of musicians. People think that it doesn't cost anything for the musician, but does it? Many musicians have spent $50,000 and more to study music at a fine arts school or college, yet when they get their degree, they find it difficult, if not impossible to make a living. What about the cost of going into business. Including school, equipment, and years of struggling making almost nothing, musicians have invested $200,000 and more over a period of years to become the best quality of performer. A good musician may gross $25,000 but net only $10,000 after the considerable expenses of a music business. A DJ needs to spend $400 a month just to purchase CD’s to keep current, and to keep his business. He may own $50,000 to $75,000 worth of equipment just to do his job, and repair bills from moving equipment are considerable. What about time spent learning his profession. Musicians may spend as much as 10 hours a day practicing, rehearsing with his band and performances, and do this for years, in order to become tops in his field. But for what, to be asked for provide the best quality music at a wedding for free? To give away their profession and earn nothing? This is a big problem in Hawaii, because of the en tended family circle, and the musicians are starving. Of course musicians love their music, or they wouldn't do it, but it would be nice to feed our families. Musicians sincerely appreciate each person that helps him live his dream of recording and performing. This is his gift to humanity. Its partly the fault of the musicians for rationalizing that it’s ok to play for free since they love it. However, what can they tell their wife and children? How do they pay their bills? What about their future when they get old and have not been able to save anything. I had a friend ask me to play for free. I though it strange, since he makes more than 50 times as much money as I do, and he can easily afford to pay me. How does a a musician become a top performer? By sacrificing all their money, years and years of struggle, practiced thousands of hours, taken time from their family. It’s a job and just like any other service, and deserves to be paid for the service he performs. And we musicians, must learn that we have a right to get paid. Perhaps you didn't know that music is considered the most important thing at a wedding, more than the hotel, the food, the flowers, the wedding dress, or the photographer, and is remembered the most, and talked about the most after the wedding, creates the romantic mood and atmosphere, but you guessed it, the musician is the lowest paid part of a wedding. The average wedding costs more than $25,000, but the musician earns only a few percent, less than the hotel, the food, the photographer, less than the dress, less than the flowers, yes, even less than the cake. And you can never find a cake, however wonderful it is, that can contribute the major part of the success of a wedding.

31. Option 4. A Polynesian Revue a group of performers, singers, drummers, musicians and hula dancers, as seen at the Polynesian Culture Center. This is probably your most expensive option. Usually 1 hour long.

32. Option 5. An alternative to a Local Band or traditional musician would be a single virtuoso soloist who would serenade the guests with popular romantic ballads and up tempo oldies (Romantic Sax Music for Weddings 951-0448) creating a magical and romantic mood. The benefit of this category of entertainment, is that while one table is being serenaded and entertained, the guests at the other tables are still able to talk and listen to the music without being required to focus all of their attention on the entertainer. He is there to serenade your guests personally. Brides, Grooms and their guests say they love the music and consider it very intimate and like the audience participation. This is a special and unique way for you and your guests to enjoy your Wedding day while being serenaded with some of the most romantic music ever written. It is a very romantic way to eat your dinner! The focus is on romantic, so guests often find themselves embracing, holding hands or kissing! This is slightly more expensive than a single musician like option 3. but well worth it, and much less than top name bands or Revues.

33. Most Brides and Grooms want both live music for their Ceremony and Reception dinner or luncheon and a DJ with his Mobile Disco System for their program music and Disco tech style dancing later in the evening. Be sure to request a package price.

34. Tables in relation to speakers: You may wish to have the Maitre den (the head person in charge of food services) turn the house lights down low during the entertainment to add a romantic touch. The music should be loud enough to get the guests attention, but not so loud as to hurt their ears. Do not place tables directly in front of speakers! Keep in mind that those sitting close to speakers, the sound will be much louder than those sitting at the back of the room. It is best to sit teenagers to 30 year old at the tables closest to the speakers since they have the least sensitive ears. The children and the older folks have the most sensitive ears, especially those with hearing aids which must be turned down if they are close to the speakers and then they will not be able to hear the conversation. The ideal situation is to have the band or DJ place their speakers behind the dance floor which will separate the speakers from the audience by about 20 feet. When it is impossible, due to lack of space, raise the speakers as far above the heads of the audience as possible. In a very small room the speakers could be placed on the floor well below the guests ears. For an example of preferred ballroom layouts, see proceeding pages.

THE WEDDING PROGRAM

35. Begin the program as the last few guests are finishing their deserts. The program consists of many options, from which you can choose, depending on your style and budget. The basic features are: the Bride throwing the bouquet, the Groom removes the garter and then throws it, cutting the cake, and usually the First Dance is last setting the stage for Disco Tech style dancing. The MC introduces the parents of the Bride and Groom, then the Bridesmaids, and Grooms men, the sponsors and finally the Bride and Groom enter the ballroom.

36. MC announcements: This is a good time to remind the guests to get their parking stub validated at the bar or outside the entrance to the ballroom, and where the rest rooms are located. Also remind about designated drivers. You don’t want any of your guests to have an accident on the way home.

37. Good Program Music adds excitement and makes the program more fun! Some possible selections are: Cutting the Cake: I Finally Found Someone, Love and Marriage, When I Fall In Love; Tossing the bouquet: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, Macarena, Love Boat, Grease, Removing the garter: The Stripper, Mission Impossible, James Bond; Throwing the garter: I'm Too Sexy for my Shirt, Peter Gun Theme, Get Down Tonight, Let it Whip, Shake a Tail Feather, Life; Dance between Father and the Bride: Butterfly Kisses; Dance between Groom and his Mother: ? Mamma (questions call A+ DJ 951-0448)

38. You can ask a friend or a relative to MC your Wedding Reception or hire a professional MC ($200 to $700). They should be able to speak distinctly and be clearly understood. A relative may know most of the people that they will announce or provide a list of names (relatives, sponsors, Brides Maids, and Grooms men in the order that they will enter the ballroom). A professional MC can say some very humorous things and can really help to organize stories, plays, and your wedding program. Request jokes in good taste. Some people find ethnic jokes uncomfortable and distasteful. In Hawaii, we think "Unity in Diversity". Some people prefer formal, but I prefer fun weddings.

39. Speech about the Bride and Groom by the Best Man and the Matron of Honor: Don't do a Roast to the Bride and Groom. Often Roasts end up in extremely bad taste, rude and embarrassing, and can nearly ruin the Wedding Reception, especially if the Best Man or Maid of Honor likes to drink too much! I've heard someone tell to the audience about an affair committed only a week before the wedding! I don't see how that person could have ever been considered a friend after that. Best men and the Maid of honor can say some really bad things about the Bride and Groom thinking that they are funny. Even the guests are embarrassed. Don't allow speakers or MC's to drink until after the speeches, and have them write it out and be reviewed by the parents or the Bride and Groom for good taste. Sarcasm or ethnic jokes are not humor, they have an element of attack especially here in Hawaii where "Unity in Diversity" is the rule, not the exception. True humor is full of love and never ever hurts anyone and never makes anyone the fall guy! Find humorous loving stories that don't hurt anyone.

40. Cutting the Cake: The guests don't want to see you smash cake into your partners face. One Bride smashed a big piece of cake in the Grooms face and then rubbed it in. The Groom was clearly shocked. Myself and maybe even the guests, felt sorry for him. Was this is a sign of things to come? To me this is a display of power over your partner and is a bad way to start a marriage and immediately creates a power struggle to see who can be top dog. A marriage is an equal partnership and consists of good will toward the other, not competition, aggression or a power struggle. One sexy idea that I saw was the groom dipped his finger into the cake icing, gently dabbed it onto the neck of his bride and then licked it off. Wow! what a sensation. The heat began bubbling in that room!

Flower Colors: Bold or Pastel. Again, select cake flowers according to the colors you wish your photos to be highlighted by. Bolder sizes and colors will show up in the portraits better. My guess, is that less than 50% of the cakes are real today. However, at least the bottom layer is real, in order to cut it. ?????

41. The Bouquet Toss: Make a list of available female guests and ask them to come to the dance floor. This eliminates the long wait due to shyness to come to the dance floor. Better yet, ask all of the guests to stand up. Then ask all the married couples to sit down. Then ask the children, and the men to sit down. Then ask married couples to sit down. Ask the ladies to come to the dance floor (all the single eligible ladies). You may not want to invite children to participate in this. At one wedding a little girl caught the bouquet, and no one knew what to do, whether to throw it again or just let it go. Some Brides that have a very special person that they wish to receive the bouquet, present it to that person rather than tossing the bouquet. The Bride has a picture taken with the winner.

42. Throwing the garter: Often the guys don't want to come up to the floor so sometimes the groom pads the garter with money as an incentive and announces that fact. The Groom has a picture taken with the winner.

43. Option 6. Give the Centerpieces away. You can place a sticker under one chair per table. That one becomes the winner of the centerpiece. Or have them pass it to the person on their left. Or, give it to the oldest person at each table. Or, the person whose birth date is closest to your wedding date at each table. Or, you can play a game like pass the hot potato, and pass an object around until the music stops. The person that has the object must sit down. Do this until only one person is left standing. They get the centerpiece or as a surprise have them give it to the person on their left. Another way is to give each guest a number ticket as they enter the ballroom. Then have a drawing. If you have 14 centerpieces, the 14 winners get the centerpieces. There are many ways to do this. One Bride, wrote one of the names of her special friends and relatives on each center piece. If they are not to give away, be sure to tell your guests, as they are anxiously waiting and may grab one.

44. Item to give away as centerpieces: Flower arrangements, handicrafts, wooden carvings, fish bowls with the fish, floating candles, or lilies, CD's of music performed at your wedding music, Pictures taken and printed out during the Reception can be given away, Gift certificates for CD-ROM disks with all of your wedding photos and some childhood and dating photos on it, etc.

45. The First Dance: Don't rush your first dance. This is the time that you and your Bride may enjoy each others company. Select your favorite songs on CD's or use live music or a combination of both. Some musicians have a song list from which you can select your favorite songs. If your DJ doesn't already have your favorite CD you may provide it for them.

*At one wedding they used bubble blowers, to shower the Bridal couple during their first dance with bubbles. It really made a romantic moment, and using a special photographic technique the bubbles come out multi-colored and make really neat unique photos.

46. I really love children, but if you want your guests to dance, having a bunch of children playing on and sliding on and tackling each other, on the dance floor, that will be enough to keep the adults from dancing. You may wish to provide an area for the children to play. Some Brides do not invite children to their wedding, while others provide special entertainment for them like a magic show or clown to make balloons animals are popular choices. Ask for Stan Ritchie/ Mr. Amazing/Colors the Clown.

47. What is the Money Dance? This tradition came from the Philippines, and how has became a local tradition, in which the guests put money on the Bride or Groom and the other must remove it with their teeth. It is a little sexy, but nobody seems to mind, after all, you are married. They say you can get a lot of money that way, but it does take from 10 minutes per hundred guests to complete the line that forms depending on how many close friends you have, and whether or not this is part of your guests tradition. Folks from the mainland may not even know what the money dance is. You normally need about 4-5 slow dance songs if you are going to do the money dance. It can be any combination of CD's and live music of your choice. If you don't want people to line up to give you money, make sure that your MC requests the guests not to come to the dance floor as it will be a special dance just for them, otherwise they will come. If you don’t want to put dairy money in your mouth, have one of your Bridesmaids pass out small red Chinese money envelopes to put the money into, or some other type of paper.

48. Other Options: 1. Ask a friend or relative who often sings Karaoke and is good to sing a song at your wedding. 2. If you have friends or relative that does the hula, ask them. The DJ shouldn't mind providing a Mic and running the PA for them. The performer should provide the cassette (cued up) or a CD for their background music. (OPTIONAL: You can also ask the DJ to provide the Karaoke player and disks that the singers will need.)

49. Ask a dance troop or pay a hula troop or other ethnic dancing group like the Filipino dance troop, or do a Country line dance to perform for you. Anything else that you can think of for entertainment, romance or just plain fun. Be creative, after all, this is your day!

50. The Bride performs a hula or other ethnic dance for her Groom. Bring a chair onto the dance floor and have the Groom sit there while she dances or sings for him. 4.

51. Equally effective, the Groom can sing for the Bride accompanied by the musician if you want (Be dramatic and fun: try kneeling on one knee for a dramatic flare). Take my word, women love this.

52. Another very elegant touch that I saw recently, the Bridesmaids and the Groomsmen did a Cotillion waltz together, then the Bride and Groom were featured in the dance.

53. Option 2. The Bride dances with her Father. The Groom may dance with his Mother. Then the Bride and Groom switch off and dance with the other parents and can be during the same song. It doesn't have to be long to be effective. Then after that dance, invite the guests to join you on the dance floor.

54. Option 3. You may pay a professional to have a video slide show made consisting of childhood pictures of the bride and groom artfully put together with interesting music, as well as parts of your Ceremony which most of your guests may not have been able to attend, and a skit between the Bride and Groom of the story of how they met. This adds personality and fun. The video person may bring their own sound system or the DJ's PA, and many DJ's will not allow you to plug into their PA system. However, this is part of the service A+ Dj provides.

55. Option 5. You may wish to include Karaoke for your guests to sing their songs as part of the program (951-0448) or as part of the fun after the Reception instead of a Mobile Disco. Use Karaoke for 1 song to 2 hours - time enough for everyone to get to sing. Luncheons use the Karaoke more often than full dancing. but don't forget to have a DJ play music to enhance your program (cake cutting, bouquet toss, remove garter, centerpiece giveaway, etc.)

56. Option 7. The Bride and Groom Thank all the people that helped, your parents, guests, sponsors, relatives, friends, MC, musicians, DJ, photo and video, flower arrangements, centerpiece, coordinator and anyone else for their help and for making your day really special!

57. Option 8. One Bride requested Rock'n'Roll, Upbeat, Classic Rock, and generally upbeat music throughout her Ceremony and Reception. It really worked well, and everyone enjoyed the music. Weddings don't always have to be formal. They can be romantic, fun, elegant, classy, or casual, whatever matches your style.

58. Its a good idea to use 2 videos at the same time. One video can be stationary and pointed at the head table towards the Bride and Groom all of the time, while the other roams around catching special moments with your guests. In the same way that lighting is important to photos, it is also critical to video. Normally, only professional videographers are prepared to provide required lighting and know how to get the best shots.

59. Photography: A key element for good photography is plenty of light. Even in the outdoors, the photographer may need a professional flash to lighten the shadows caused by an intense sun. Some Brides place a disposable camera on each table at the Reception. Then the guests can take pictures of each other, then collect them after the reception is over. Make sure the MC tells the guests not to take them home. These are for very close up shots around the table. The flash is inadequate for distance shots and generally have dark black backgrounds. The cost of these disposable camera are about $13.00 each x 25? tables = $325 plus the developing charge of another $300. If you wish to have table shots (most people don't care to own the pictures of their friends), it is usually an option offered by professional photographers. Then, most of the time, the Bride and Groom will pose with each individual table, at the table or along some wall. Most photographers will use medium format negatives for the formals (to produce the largest enlargement portraits for your wall ). Use 35 mm film for the reception with the exception of cake cutting shots, first dance, and garter removal.

Sometimes Brides and Grooms are surprised to find that good photography may cost them $. Both packages and ALA carte are available with such options as lots of photos taken 400-800, scaning negatives, selecting the photos for your album by viewing on a large screen monitor, relatives and guests and out of state Online viewing and ordering, slide show with music, traditional and flush mount albums, digital art composite 11x14 pages that contain from 1 to many photos custom designed layouts, enlargements for albums, folios, custom designed portraits 11x4 and up, mixing film and digital shots using two photographers (this provides a backup should something fail), parents albums,

40 page photo album. This way, some photos can be large (8x10) and fill one page, whereas others can be smaller (5x7) and 2 will fill the page, and even smaller for the various lesser important photos.

A new option is digital film photography. You still need a professional photographer and a high quality lighting system (high power professional flash on stands due to the large sizes of ballrooms) in order to take good pictures. A+ offers high powered lights for video. Don't rush through cake cutting, bouquet toss, or garter removal. Your photographer needs the time to get a few good shots of each. Don't move so quickly that your photographer miss those moments. If you take a more relaxed pace it will give him time to prepare for each shot, and will produce more excellent photos, especially on kisses, special moment shots.

60. Lighting: If you are taking pictures of your guests, you, your program, etc. during the Reception, be sure to leave the house lights on full to improve the photos. If you are not taking any pictures during the reception, you may turn down the lights to add atmosphere. During dancing, it is important to dim the lights to create mood. More people will get up and dance. If you wish to take photos during dancing, use a flash. Don't let a video person run multiple high powered lights throughout the dancing! If you want to video the dancing, wait until the dancing is in full swing, then get close and video a few minutes using spot light. An occasional photo with flash works well. Usually, a few photos is all that you need to capture the spirit of the dancing. Having more photos of dancing is not really beneficial since you can't get good people shots, and they don't look the flash going off in their face when they are dancing.

61. Cake. Before purchasing your Wedding Cake, ask for a taste of their cakes. There are two type of cake and icing, one that won't melt like carrot cake, and the other needs constant refrigeration or it will shrink as it gets warm. Sugar icing doesn't melt, whereas a whipped cream type of icing does. Keep this in mind if you plan to have your Wedding outdoors.

62. Food. Many of the Hotels prepare extremely high quality food. Prices average range $36 per plate at a buffet to over $100 per plate for served Dinners with lobster or crab, etc.. You can arrange to taste the food that you would like for your Wedding to help you make your decision.

63. Centerpieces and Table decoration. One Bride and Groom had multi-colored jewels (I do not know where these can be purchased) with multi-colored rose petals scattered over each table creating a nice effect. Pastel flower bouquets with peach, lavender, yellow placed on a sky blue tablecloth creates a visually colorful wedding. For the entry table into the ballroom where the guests sign in, get their parking validated, should also be decorated. One table that I thought was particularly pretty had a shallow glass dish about the size of a pie pan filled with water and 3 floating peach colored roses and a white candle, with a circle of green leaves . Another clear glass candy jar of medium height, filled with water and 3 baby peach roses, surrounded by 3 glass short fancy candle stick holders. Lots of dime sized glass that look like water droplets or candy kiss’s, standing on the table. Also, on that table were a few gifts in matching colors, and purple bouquet sized cotton cane type rolled papers filled with loose pastel rose petals, given out to the guests as they entered to be thrown during the Processional, at the Bride and Groom. There was also a candelabra (a candle stick holder with 3 candles lit. All this on a white tablecloth, with a blue table cloth bunched up laying from end to end. Be sure that your photographer takes pictures of all these, as these not only serve as part of your wedding story, but enhance your Wedding album with colors and flowers. Some tables have colored jewels, marbles, colored stones, clear glass stones for decoration. One wedding centerpiece was a Beta fish in a clear vase or super oversized goblet, usually available at Walmarts for about $5-6.

A good book is available at Ben Franklin, called Hand Crafted Weddings for $24.95 and is probably available at book stores.

Small glass droplets add shine and luster to your table decorations, and can be purchased at craft shops. Purchase shells for your tables at Haleewa-North Shore. I also saw shells at the Dole Plantation, outdoors in back for $10 a mixed bag.

64. Give wallet photos of you Ceremony, printed out at and during the reception, to give to your guests as keepsakes of your Wedding.IDEA! Include the web address to your wedding photos. It's certain that everyone will be anxious to see your photos, if they know where to look.

65. Shells, flower blossoms, gems, silver, candles make nice table decorations

66. Hotels. Most hotels charge for each guest's meal, and provide the ballroom for free, with a minimum number of guests guaranteed. There will be extra charges for the Bar tab, setting up a garden ceremony, a PA system outdoors. The Reception PA and podium should be included as a standard feature.

DISCO STYLE DANCING

67. Normally a DJ (A+DJ 951-0448) begins the dancing with Disco Tech style music which is a DJ spinning records and CD's. He should have a large library of songs from every style, including current dance music, ballroom style dancing, with selections from the 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's and the 90's that include Romantic ballads, instrumentals like Kenny G, Oldies, Slow dance, Rock n Roll, Classic Rock, Hawaiian, Reggae, Waltz, Fox-trot, ChaCha, Tango, Lambada, Merengue, Latin, Standards, Big band, Country, Love Themes from the movies, Hip Hop, Dance, 1978's Disco, Wedding and Specialty music. Mobile Disco normally includes a sub woofer to reproduce the bass sounds for dancing, and is expected for current dance, hip hop and rap music. Disco music is normally louder but should not be so loud as to hurt the guests ears. The Halekulani has an excellent ballroom for music on the second floor that can handle 300 guests, but amplified music is not allowed in some of the other Halekulani rooms where you are limited to UN-amplified Harp, acoustic guitar, flute, etc...

68. Mix occasional live music in with the CD's.

69. Feel free to bring some of your favorite Dance CD's, both for fast dancing and slow. Just stick a post it note on the CD box with the song numbers you like. Then the DJ can mix them in along with other dance music and requests. Be sure to mark them with post it notes and what style each song is. As a rule, listening CD's are not needed. Please don't limit the DJ's selections to only what you bring. This will cause the DJ to be the brunt of guests dissatisfaction. It may not be the type of music your guests wish to dance to. In all of the cases where the Bride or Groom selected all the songs, and limited dancing to only those songs, the guests were very unhappy, and gave the DJ a hard time all night. They assumed the music was the Dj's choice. DJ's can't afford to make all of their guests mad, since they are his potential clients. As a Bride and Groom, hopefully, your goal is to make sure that your guests have a good time.

70. One couple, after everyone else had left the ballroom except some of the family members, set up two chairs and asked me to play a few of their favorite songs especially for them to enjoy and slow dance to, before they went home to start their life together. I believe that couple will have a great life together. They were so focused on each other.

71. Disco Lighting adds excitement and atmosphere. However, not all Brides want Disco lights. Make sure that you check to see if Disco lights and fog are allowed in your ballroom (the main Sheraton Moana ballroom does not allow fog, nor does Prince Kuhio, Hale Koa, Halekulani, or Sheraton Waikiki). Fog enhances the lighting as it makes visible the streams of twirling, blinking, dancing, multicolored lights. Guests are much more inclined to dance when the lights are dimmed (some places only have on and off lights) and you will also be able to see the Disco lighting better. Usually you turn off the house lights and the Disco lights provide all of the lighting. Mobile Disco lighting is only great because you can see it in the air. In order to do this, DJ's use a fog machine to produce a fog which the lights reflect on in the air, creating long streams of light, making a really neat effect. Unfortunately, it is almost impossible to use fog outdoors, because any breeze will immediately blow off the fog unless it is an absolutely still night. Some Brides do not want fog at their reception and may not want disco style lights.

72. As an option, instead of Dancing to Mobile Disco, you may wish to sing Karaoke, or both. After the program, start with Karaoke for 2 hours and then move to dancing for the rest of the evening. If your guests like to sing, this can be a lot of fun and something that everyone can participate in. It usually takes about 2 hours for everyone to get a chance to sing one or two songs. It almost always starts out slow, but before its over most people have requested to sing 2 or more songs. When you stop there is a stack of song requests.

73. Don't let anxious helpers start tearing down chairs and tables before the end of the event or everyone will get up and leave before the party's over.

74. The most successful Receptions that I have seen have the Ballroom setup so that the Head table is directly across from the dance floor on the wide wall, and the Mobile Disco, musicians or band are against the opposite wide wall behind the dance floor. The dance floor will give some space between the DJ/band and the guest tables and make the volume more pleasant to listen to. Directly in front of the head table are the two parents tables. Since the head table is elevated on a stage it is easy for the Bride and Groom to see the entertainment, and they hear the best sound. Even in a daytime/luncheon Reception you will need a dance floor for entertainment and the programs first dance, bouquet throwing, removing the garter, hulas, etc.. Some hotels will automatically set the dance floor directly in front of the head table, unless you ask them not to, which is very awkward and leaves no place for the DJ to setup his lighting for the light show or 8 foot banquet table which he places his DJ equipment on. In addition, the speakers will need to be placed on each side of the head table facing the audience, resulting in the head table hearing the back of the speakers...a muddy poor quality sound. One wedding, I was requested to setup the DJ table on the left side of the head table since they had placed the dance floor directly in front of the head table. Some ballrooms cannot be setup this way because of doorways, etc.. Then you should setup the dance floor on one of the side walls, but not directly in front of the head table. Another wedding, due to the cramped quarters, after the dinner was completed, removed a few of the tables at one end of the room for the program and dancing. This meant that they could not setup a dance floor in advance. Unfortunately, the DJ table was way across the room at the opposite end. Since it was impossible to see what was happening, it was very difficult to know when to play the songs since you couldn't see the program, or if anyone was dancing. It was useless to use disco lights and fog at the other end from the dancers, and the volume had to be so loud that it hurt the guests ears (they were between the dance area and the PA system) so that they could dance. An altogether unworkable situation. If your ballroom layout is not one of the two good layouts, be sure to SEND YOUR DJ A FLOORPLAN way in advance of the wedding. Maybe he can think of a better place to put the PA system, lights and disco table.

75. Be sure to send passes to Army, Air force and Marine bases well in advance. Otherwise, it can more than an hour to be checked in, even in non busy times. They often can not find the lists provided by the Groom and Bride. I have had to wait numerous times while the officer on duty called around trying to find the bride or someone who could vouch for me, so that I could enter the base.

76. Write out a Program Schedule of your Ceremony and Reception, with times, names, activities. This will really help you to plan your Wedding. Give a copy to your MC and then ask your MC to follow it. Be sure to send a copy of you Program to your DJ and MC. The DJ needs to know the order of your program in order to have the music cued and ready to play. You don't want to have an embarrassing wait while the DJ scrambles to find the special song that you are just now letting him know that you want played. This will really help as well as clarifying the times and order of the events to take place. See the example following... Be sure to write everything down as letters, rather than making changes verbal. You don't want to have to rely upon someone remembering and important change.

MC. Hire a professional or use both a guy and a girl to MC your event. NO DRINKING! For the MC.

77. The songs that you need to select are: For the Ceremony: 1. As the Bridesmaids walk down the aisle. 2. The Processional. 3. The Recessional. For the Reception: 1. Grand Entrance. 2. During lunch or dinner: A few of your favorite songs selected from the song list. 3. The First dance. Optional: 1. Cake cutting. 2. Bouquet toss. 3. Garter removal. 4 Garter toss. 5. Centerpiece giveaway.

If there are songs that must be played, you may provide the CD's. Be sure to indicate which ones are required to play. If there is a style of music that you don’t like, be sure to indicate that to your DJ well in advance.

78. Major changes such as date of the ceremony and reception, place, and time are critical and must be made to the original contract. You certainly don't want a photographer, MC or musician to show up on the wong date or go to the wrong hotel.

79. The Top 10 songs of all time: At least that's what they say. Stardust, Always, God Bless America, Laura's Theme: Somewhere My Love, Amazing Grace, Tennessee Waltz, Wind Beneath My Wings, White Christmas, One Day At a Time, How Great Thou Art.

80. MONEY: It is important to have a trusted relative, friend or coordinator handle Payment of various services photo, catering, video, music, etc.. at the Reception so that you are free to pay attention to each other, and not have to worry about writing checks yourself. Give the money to your coordinator or put the money into marked envelopes to be handed out after the reception. When it is time to pay the MC, the photographers, the musicians, etc. it is not an accepted excuse to say I forgot and left my checkbook at home. All hirees expect to be paid in full immediately after the event is over, not the next day. They know you will be too busy on your honeymoon to be worrying about paying bills. Be sure to bring your check book and a few hundred dollars in cash to cover unexpected expenses.

81. Be sure to get a good nights sleep. I've seen some brides and grooms so out of it,they didn't even experience their own wedding, the best day of your life. For all the money spent, you don't want to miss a minute of it. Try to stay relaxed and have fun at your wedding. Even, if something goes wrong, and it may, don't let anything spoil your day. For the next 20 years you don't want to remember only the small problem that you had which you let spoil your whole day of precious memories. This is your day, Everyone should be serving you, and not vise versa. Enjoy the beautiful surrounding, the music. Some Brides change into a cocktail dress immediately after the program, so that they can enjoy dancing with the rest of the guests. The more fun you have, the more fun that the guests will have. The guests take your lead. Also, your wedding day is not the time to be shy. After all, you are with family, relatives and your best friends. The more that you and your guests enjoy themselves, the better they will perform for you. If they worked hard and did a great job, the best way to thank them and show your appreciation is through referrals.

82. If your parents are making all the decisions for your wedding, you need to think about this. Your parents may just be excited for your wedding a forget whose wedding it really is. One Bride asked me to perform for her wedding, but later found out that her parents had already given someone else the fee without even consulting the Bride! I was wondering whose wedding this is???

83. You can expect imperfections even when everything is planned out perfectly. You will probably laugh about it later and more than likely, your guests will still enjoy themselves. Try to overlook and keep a positive attitude. You are a true hero when you can do this. How you remember your wedding day is the most important thing.

OTHER DETAILS:

84. Ministers, Leis, Transportation, Formal Attire, Balloons, Magical Clown for Children's entertainment, Custom painted Wedding License is a beautiful thing, to frame for its memories. Limousine Service

85. Be sure that service providers guarantee to show up on time or forfets his charge. A very few Wedding services providers habitually show up late. One Minister showed up an hour late and guests whispered that he was always late. My cousin attended a wedding in another city that was catered and they showed up 2 hours late with the food and then took another 2 hours to set up the tables. To say the least, it was a disaster for the Bride and Groom. Fortunately, I have never known this to be a problem at a Hotel here on Oahu.

86. Be sure to call everyone that is providing services for your wedding, about 5 days in advance to remind them and to clarify the details one more time. You don’t want to have your wedding spoiled by someone failing to show up because they forgot. A few Brides don't make up their mind which songs they want until the last minute. Then I have to scramble to find the music for them. That becomes very stressful.

87. Marriage Licenses are available through the Hawaii State Department of Health 586-4542/586-4400, from 8:00 to 4:00, Monday-Friday. You will need a picture ID and the cost is $25. No blood testing is needed. Ask about other information i.e., you are under 18, divorce papers, etc..

88. You can search the internet for additional information on Weddings: "bridal showers" for The Ultimate Internet Wedding Guide's Ultimate Bridal Shower Guide for games, themes, menus and decorations for the perfect shower.

89. EXAMPLE of good and bad Reception layouts in a Ballroom

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